Granted, the fact that I just finished taking a class that had the goal of helping us discern our vocations probably has a lot to do with that. But I wrapped that class up a week ago. Right now, I'm reading another book in preparation for a class I'm about to take across the pond in Scotland. This book is allegedly about traveling with meaning, but it seems like so far, every other page has been about listening to your heart and--wait for it--finding your calling.
Maybe I've just been reading too much of this touchy-feely calling stuff, but this constant exposure to calling business kind of makes me think that I should be focusing on my calling more. That's weird and confusing for me, because I thought I had things figured out. (Which, I guess, more than anything should be an indication that I have nothing figured out). I just spent three and a half months working at an internship that I absolutely loved. My strong positive feelings about the internship, coupled with the strong positive feedback I constantly received, was as good of an indication as any that what I was interning in has to do with my calling.
So why does everyone still seem to be on my back about finding my calling?
I'm not very good at listening. Well, sort of. I'm good at listening to people. I like letting people just talk to me, in fact. I have no problem sitting there and just letting them talk and talk and talk until they get it all out. (In fact, I enjoy doing this very much with Boy described in previous posts). But I'm not good at the whole "quiet time" concept. It seems like the only time my brain turns off is when I'm asleep. I'm not 100% convinced that all dreams impart some sort of secret knowledge to us, so I don't know if paying attention to my dreams counts as listening.
I am discovering, though, that I'm better at being quiet when I'm running. Not much is going on on my head when I go for a run. It's not really listening, but I guess it's a step in the right direction.
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