Latvia.

Dear Latvian Lovers,

I don't know if there are actually seven of you, or if one of you just came to my page seven times today. Either way, um, hi? Thanks for knocking my hypothetical socks off when I checked my stats (it's too warm to be wearing socks, in case you were wondering).

Love,

xojustagirl

The whole reason I came on to post is because I have an announcement! I officially began training for my first 5K ever today! The training is pretty easy at this point, because it's a beginner training program. At this point it's heavy on the walking on light on the running, which is nice in the sense that I don't get tired quickly, but annoying in the sense that I don't feel like I'm accomplishing anything (ie: burning calories and getting more fit). I'm hoping to keep myself accountable for my training on here because that 5K is most def. happening, and because my blog heroes tend to post these kinds of things, so I thought I should, too.

Also, I should be doing homework right now. I know, right? Still? Ridikalus.

Calling

It seems like everything in my life lately has been about finding your calling.

Granted, the fact that I just finished taking a class that had the goal of helping us discern our vocations probably has a lot to do with that. But I wrapped that class up a week ago. Right now, I'm reading another book in preparation for a class I'm about to take across the pond in Scotland. This book is allegedly about traveling with meaning, but it seems like so far, every other page has been about listening to your heart and--wait for it--finding your calling.

Maybe I've just been reading too much of this touchy-feely calling stuff, but this constant exposure to calling business kind of makes me think that I should be focusing on my calling more. That's weird and confusing for me, because I thought I had things figured out. (Which, I guess, more than anything should be an indication that I have nothing figured out). I just spent three and a half months working at an internship that I absolutely loved. My strong positive feelings about the internship, coupled with the strong positive feedback I constantly received, was as good of an indication as any that what I was interning in has to do with my calling.

So why does everyone still seem to be on my back about finding my calling?

I'm not very good at listening. Well, sort of. I'm good at listening to people. I like letting people just talk to me, in fact. I have no problem sitting there and just letting them talk and talk and talk until they get it all out. (In fact, I enjoy doing this very much with Boy described in previous posts). But I'm not good at the whole "quiet time" concept. It seems like the only time my brain turns off is when I'm asleep. I'm not 100% convinced that all dreams impart some sort of secret knowledge to us, so I don't know if paying attention to my dreams counts as listening.

I am discovering, though, that I'm better at being quiet when I'm running. Not much is going on on my head when I go for a run. It's not really listening, but I guess it's a step in the right direction.

I'm Not Very Good At This

I don't update this very often. It's silly that this bothers me right now, considering my past history. I've become quite the blog addict, though, so I feel like I should make an effort to keep this updated...ish.

Also, I'm thinking of starting another blog. Why that strikes me as a good idea is beyond me (points below to show infrequent updating). We'll see. I can't keep you too posted, though, because I don't want my second blog to be so secretive. *shifty eyes*

Anyway.

I can't believe I never mentioned this, but I'm studying off-campus this semester. Hands down the best decision I've ever made. I'm leaving for home in about 48 hours, and I really couldn't be less thrilled. Things I don't want to go back to

- homework

- my job at the paper (uh oh...)

- small towns

Last weekend someone (my pastor, actually) asked if I had been bit by the big city bug. I lied. In church! To my pastor! ON EASTER SUNDAY. It's a wonder I wasn't smote right then and there. I said no to my pastor. The real answer is yes. Yeah, I like my small town values and my small town prices. But MAN do I like city livin.

I'm gonna miss this town.

Inspiration

This has to be quick, because I'm at work and have a story that needs to be written. But something pretty awesome just happened, so I want to share it.

I write for a magazine. I received an article assignment earlier this week and have just felt extremely lazy about it all along. I dragged my feet trying to find a contact person, I delayed contacting that contact person, I took my time getting in touch with the subject of my article, and now I've put off writing the article until the last day. I've been at work for almost two full hours now and have done nothing to start the article other than reading over the information I have and writing down what I feel are important points. I've procrastinated with every website I can possible think of. But finally I was like, all right, this needs to happen. Let's get crackin. So after reading over the past two articles that I've written for this same department to look for some inspiration, I turned my attention to my notepad, where I traced over the letters of "Lead" many, many times, trying to come up with something, ANYTHING, remotely worth starting my article with.

And then literally out of absolutely nowhere, it hit me. I wasn't actively trying to come up with something, at least not really. I was mulling over something completely different in fact--how I could make a money amount an interesting lead. And then all of a sudden I realized what my lead would be (nothing that had to do with money) and it was just SO COOL. It was like my brain just magically pulled a perfect lead out of thin air. I have no idea how these things work. It really is hard to wrap your mind around. How can these things just happen? How does a story begin to write itself? I have no idea. But it's things like this that prove to me that I'm a writer. Unless, of course, this happens to everyone, but I'd prefer to think it's something magical that only the privileged few get to experience. Those of us who were born to write. Writers. With a capital W.

I'm a Writer.

I'm a Culinary Genius

GUYS GUESS WHAT.

I created my own recipe today! I'm super proud of myself, because I've never really considered myself to be much of a cook. Lately, though, I've been getting more into it. But see, here's the thing: I'm a single, self-conscious, poor college student. That means:

1 - I'm on a pretty limited budget.

2 - I'm working with pretty limited supplies.

3 - I'm short on time.

4 - Eating anything that's not chock full of health benefits increases my self-loathing.

What's a girl to do? Most recipes you find out there may fit one or two of those qualifications, but very, very rarely do they fit all four. Thus, my diet has been pretty monotonous and involves a discouragingly high number of microwavable meals ('sup, sodium).

Yesterday I decided that I would have tilapia today, which is always a good thing because that meant I had time to thaw it overnight in the fridge instead of under running water for 10 minutes, which I'm always a bit sketchy about doing. Normally when I cook tilapia it is epically boring--it's just plain fish. I don't really have many spices, and what I do have doesn't do much to make the fish taste any more exciting, so it's been pretty lameski. I have part of a red bell pepper right now, so I thought I might dice some of that up and bake it with the tilapia today and see what happened.

BUT THEN.

I remembered that I have salsa in the fridge, left over from my many Mexican pizza meals (whole wheat pita + salsa + chicken + cheddar. 10 minutes at 350. Highly recommend it). And I was like IDEA! Salsa + tilapia = win?

Indeed. Indeed it does.

So, out of the goodness of my heart, I shall share my recipe with you. I don't believe in measuring things like ever, so if you're one of those people, I'm very sorry. No measurements here.

Pescado con Salsa (that's what I'm going to call it).

1 tilapia filet thing

Salsa

Cheddar

Mozzarella

Cooking spray

Brown rice

1) Preheat oven to 400 F

2) Spray pan with cooking spray, ideally something low-fat

3) Place tilapia in pan, spray with cooking spray

4) Spoon salsa onto fish

5) Put in oven for ten minutes

6) After ten minutes, remove fish from oven

7) Sprinkle a pinch of cheddar and a pinch of mozzarella over fish (or whatever cheese you like)

8) Put back in oven for ten more minutes

9) Serve on a bed of brown rice (or whatever rice you like)

10) ENJOY!

I found that the tilapia keeps the fish nice and moist, which was always my problem. I dried it out way too much when I'd bake it. But the salsa solves that problem, plus adds a nice dose of vegetable to your protein. Stick it on the complex carbs (brown rice) and ladies and gents, you've got yourself a complete, tasty, healthy meal.

You're so welcome.

!

He just started a blog too. NOW I CAN CREEPILY READ ABOUT HIS LIFE AND HE'LL NEVER KNOW!!

Except chances are I'll tell him within the next couple of days. Because I can't keep anything from him. Because I want him to know everything about me. Everything. He is THE ONE person I want to spill all (well, all but one) of my secrets to. Even the thing I've never told a single soul. Not one. Not my family. Not my friends. Not my online friends. Not one. Single. Person. But I want to tell him. Why?

Because I want a deeper relationship with him. Why?

Because I want him to love me, too.

It Happened

I love somebody.

This is not the love I thought I felt in high school. This is nothing like I've experienced before.

I really, truly think it might have happened:

I think I found Him.