And So It Begins...Again

Just found the facebook group for the next incoming freshmen class at my school. Ah, innocent high school seniors expecting the world once again. It just makes me sad, you know? I wish they didn't come in with such high expectations. I think a lot more people would enjoy their freshman year of college a lot more if they had a realistic view of college instead of an idealistic view. But alas, such is the world. Jaded upperclassman over here will just sit and shake her head at them, but will refrain from saying anything this year (probably). Because my time to do that was last year, and I did. So now I'll let other people take over my job.

In other news, I finished the semester with a 4.0. WOOT! I'm honestly thrilled about this, because I didn't expect it to happen. So that brings my cumulative GPA to a 3.97. I need a few more 4.0s and then I'll be able to graduate Summa Cum Laude, which would be outstanding because at the moment, my plan is to go to grad school immediately after finishing my undergrad. (Unless of course I have a job...in that case I'll wait on grad school until I lose my job, which is pretty much a guarantee, considering I'm pursuing a dying field. Awesome). But grad school is effing expensive, and my parents won't pay a penny of it. So basically, in order to go to grad school, I need to 1) save like there's no tomorrow (at the moment I'm saving 50% of every paycheck in the vain hope that it will make a difference. I'd save more, but I would like to, you know, be able to afford food and minor luxuries like that) and 2) get a buttload of scholarships. Since I'm not multicultural, it'd be difficult for me to get a full ride (another rant for another day). But I think I could do well with academic and need-based scholarships, especially academic if I graduate Summa Cum Laude (and to amazing on the GRE). So yes. Yay for another 4.0.

Second Semester goals/new year's resolutions are coming.

Mid-year Update

I'm less than 24 hours away from Christmas break *throws a party* So here's a little update on my beginning-of-the-year goals, for those of you interested (you know, all zero of you reading this blog):

1. Be content

-- mmm, epic fail would be too harsh, but I think fail would be accurate.

2. Make friends

-- WIN! I did, in fact, make friends! Woot!

3. Don't fall too fast

-- I feel like I didn't even have the opportunity for this to happen anyways

4. Get involved

-- Holy epic win. Definitely, definitely, definitely accomplished this.

5. Don't hate your roommate

-- Done and done.

And as far as my self-grading goes, I'm giving myself a C: 2 or more new girl friends, get along with roommate and suitemates. Because I did make new girl friends, and I think I get along with my roommate and suitemates. I'm not friends with them or anything really, but I get along with them, so straight C it is for me.

Stay tuned, nonexistent readers: goals for second semester are coming later!

Done

Well, kind of. I'm not *technically* done, because I still have finals next week. But classes are over. WEIRD.

It's all very strange. Looking back on the semester, it feels like it dragged on and on. September 1 seems like it was ages ago. But sitting here in this moment, it feels like the entire semester passed by far too quickly. It's a really weird feeling.

On the one hand, I'm really, really happy to be done with some of my classes. World Music was the worst class I've taken in college thus far, so I'm thrilled that it's over. Trumpet lessons are also over, and I couldn't be much happier about that. Trumpet lessons were the worst. My Spanish class was way too hard, so I'm glad that's done as well. I did like my English class a lot, though, so I'm disappointed that that's over.

On the other hand, I'm really sad that my classes are done because I didn't have any class this year where I really didn't like my classmates. I strengthened and formed a good amount of friendships in my classes, but I have doubts that those friendships will survive now that I most likely won't see my friends twice or three times a week. It also really screws with my dining schedule, because I had everything worked out in a lovely system, and now that will all have to change. Meh.

I sold a book to the bookstore today, and I feel slightly guilty about it. I didn't buy the book at school, so it didn't have a "USED" sticker on it. Therefore, they assumed it was new and gave me that buyback price. I ended up making a $15 profit on the book. I suppose I shouldn't feel bad about it, given how much the bookstore has ripped me off in the past. But alas, I still feel like it was morally wrong. Ah well.

Busy busy busy Take Two

Fail on the profile views. I only got one in like the past two weeks. Lame lame lame.

So I've been super busy with this thing we have going on at school that I can't tell you about because then you'd be able to figure out where I go to school and that would defeat the whole anonymity thing. But it's this competition that I like a lot, though I'm seriously concerned that my team is going to lose this year, and that causes a lot of stress. Thankfully, the homework gods have smiled on me this week, so all I really need to focus on is this competition.

Also, I'm not happy about my Spanish grade. I'm pretty sure I'm getting an A-, partly because my teacher is moody. Not okay.

I have a sore throat and it's making me very, very nervous. I don't think I have piggy flu, because I don't have any other symptoms, and it's not a bad sore throat, just a little scratch. So hopefully I'm okay.

Also, remember S and A? Yeah, they're no longer roommates. Didn't even last an entire semester. I totally called that one!

I'm Selfish

My cousin is leaving for the Peace Corps tomorrow morning, and I'm tired of half-pretending like I'm okay with it, because I'm not. I'm not at all happy about it. He's going to be gone for two and a half years (ish). He's supposed to be back home in time for Christmas 2011, key words being "supposed to." Whether or not this will actually happen has yet to be determined, and I'm not holding my breath. Can we please pause for a moment and think about this?

Two and a half years ago, I was in the second semester of my sophomore year in HIGH SCHOOL. I had no idea where I wanted to go to college. I wasn't even really thinking about college. I didn't really know what I wanted to be, though I think at that point I was still leaning toward editor at a publishing house. Or perhaps I was just beginning to think about being an editor at a publishing house. I really don't know. I know one thing, though: the college that I'm at was not even in the picture.

Two and a half (ish) years from now, I will have one semester left in college (CAN WE PLEASE NOT TALK ABOUT THAT KTHNX). I really have no CLUE what my life is going to look like at that point. The only thing I can say with certainty is that I will have spent a semester off campus, because the plan has always been do spend Spring 2011 off campus. Where exactly I will be spending that semester has yet to be determined (though I have a pretty good idea of where it's going to be). By that point I'm hopefully going to have a pretty good idea of what I'm going to be doing after college, whether it's working or going to grad school or, the most likely option of them all, moving back home and working full time where I worked part time over the summer because I'm never going to be able to get a "real job." But I really don't know. Thinking about that point in my life freaks me out, because the things that will be on my mind at that point are SCARY. I DON'T WANT TO GROW UP.

I mean, if you think about it, a lot is going to happen in my life in two and a half (ish) years. And it really upsets me that my cousin is going to miss it all, because he's the closest thing I have to a big brother. And what happens if he likes where he's going and decides not to come back, ever? Is that it then? When I saw him on Saturday night, is that the last time I'm ever going to see him? Is that the last time our entire family (except for Grandpa, who died in June 2008) is going to be together?

I just hate it. I took the UCLA Loneliness Test yesterday, and I got a score of 34. The most you can possibly get is 40, and people who get above 30 are considered to be severely lonely. That's how I feel at school almost all the time. Lonely. Somehow, even though I'm involved in a million and a half things, I feel lonely the majority of the time. I think it's partially because even though I have friends at school, I don't have many good friends at school. I have people I get along with just fine, but there's only one person I ever really "hang out" with. My roommate and I, though we get along and don't have any major issues at all, aren't friends. We're just roommates. It's just like when I look back on my life, I realize how much less lonely I was in high school. Yeah, I didn't have much a social life then, but I had great friends who I saw and talked to every single day of the school week. While I see my friends every single day of the week now that I'm in college and live there, it's not like we talk every day. And I don't see my close friends every day (which, more accurately, is close friend, not plural). And I had my family. But now my family is spreading abroad "to the west and to the east and to the north and to the south" AND I'M NOT OKAY WITH IT. The only people I could count on are all leaving me, and I'm becoming more and more alone. My sister is only looking at one school that's even in the state we live in. The other places she's looking at are literally on the other side of the country or in the middle of nowhere (f*cking IOWA. WHO WANTS TO LIVE IN IOWA??). Last year I realized my family members are the only people I can always count on, and now they're all leaving me, too. Which leaves me with no one at all. I'm going from being mostly alone at school to being completely alone in my life, and I just can't handle that. People were made to be in community. We weren't meant to be isolated. That's why solitary confinement is such a horrible, brutal punishment. But I feel like that's what's happening to me, like it's all spiraling out of control and there's nothing I can do about it.

On a happy note, I weighed myself today and discovered that I've lost a lot of weight. I don't have an eating disorder or anything like that, and I don't want anyone who happened to make it to this line to worry about me for that reason, but this is the first time since I began college that I've come home and weighed less than the last time I was at home. Every single time since my birthday last fall (Fall 2008), whenever I've come home I've gained weight. But this time I lost like 6 pounds. I'm not quite sure how it happened, but I don't care, either. It's probably because I actually pay attention to what I eat now, and I'm not like, "Ooh, pizza and fries! That will be a healthy way to finish off my eating for the day, after the french toast sticks and syrup I had for breakfast followed by a greasy grilled cheese for lunch!" every. single. day. Now I'm like, "Hmm, maybe I should just eat cereal for breakfast, a sandwich and an apple for lunch, and something not deep fried and/or swimming in grease for dinner." In other words, eating like I ate when I lived at home all the time. And lo and behold, my weight has returned to where it was senior year. If only I had known it could be that easy last year.

P.S. By the next time I blog, I want 40 profile views. Annnndddddd go.

Employment!

Whaaattt? *celebrates*

Yes, that's right, anonymous readers: yours truly has an on-campus job. LET THE PARTY BEGIN!

In all seriousness, though, I am pretty pumped about this. There are lots of positives about this turn of events and only one negative:

Positives:

- MONEY. Which is a good thing, considering that this college education I'm receiving is far from cheap, and student loans are frightening thing I hope to never have first-hand experience with.

- Resume Booster. When I read the description for the job, I thought, "Wow, they might as well have just said, 'Your name must be *firstname* *lastname*', because I'm that qualified." It's going to look amazinggg on my resume.

Negative:

- I kinda don't really have this kind of free time :/ . I'm already involved in five extracurriculars (>.<) plus taking 16 credits (a full load...although 2 of them are for a half-semester class that will end on October 21 and 2 more of them are music lessons, which amounts to one 40ish minute lesson a week).

So what is this job, you ask?

I'm a blogger.

Yep, that's right. I'm going to get PAID to do what I'm doing already. Well, I mean, I'm not going to get paid to do this particular blog. I'm blogging for part of the school. But whatever. I have to come up with a blog or two per week, and all they're asking for is 2-3 paragraphs per blog. Totally do-able. Plus since I want to go into journalism, this will look beautiful on my resume, because it will not only add a TON to my portfolio, but will prove that I can use technology, which according to my Mass Media teacher is very important. So there you have it.

And now I'm going to practice some things, because so far this blog has been all text. So here's some experimentation:

I googled "popular" and Google suggested "popular wicked." This was the first thing that came up. I'm a big fan, because I love Wicked. When Kristin Chenoweth was Glee last week, I died of happiness. (WHOA. I'm listening to shuffle on my iTunes, and "Defying Gravity" just came on. WEIRD).

Free laughs

*giggle*

Changing text color is fun.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself

So there you have it. I just realized you could edit html in this, too. I really need to brush up on my html knowledge, since it's kinda limited at the moment.

Busy busy busy

So. Obviously I have not blogged in like a month. Roundup of what's happened since then:

- Orientation (twas awesome. My freshmen were the best).

- Homework

- Homework

- Homework

Gosh, I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh! right!

- Homework

Hence the lack of bloggage. I've been doing work work work like all the time. It's mostly good, though. I've joined a couple of groups on campus and might be getting a job. I have no romantic life to speak of, but that's nothing new. Nothing particularly exciting has happened, at least nothing worth talking about.

It's my birthday on Friday. Feel free to mark your calendars. Not telling how old I'm going to be though...a lady should not speak of such things :P

Here We Go Again

Well, kids, it's gotten to be that time: school time.

Well, not entirely. I'm back at school, but classes don't start until next week. I moved in early because I'm cool like that. Or rather, I had to. As tempted as I am to use this blog entry to complain about how I don't really want to be back at school, I will resist. Nearly everyone I know has told me I need to be positive about this year, so I'm going to pretend like this is new years and make some resolutions/goals.

1. Be content

- Not necessarily always be happy, because that would be impossible and setting myself up for failure, but be content whatever my circumstances.

2. Make friends

- Because college would be a more enjoyable experience with one or two of those.

3. Don't fall too fast.

- Debacle last year. Don't want that to happen again.

4. Get involved.

- Because that will make #2 much easier.

5. Don't hate your roommate.

- Debacle last year. Don't want that to happen again.

The number one aspect of my life at college that needs improvement is my social life, hands down. The academic stuff is just fine. But if we were graded on our social lives, I would be failing out of college. I'm going to try to improve that. Maybe I won't get an A, but I'm shooting for a B. Here's my personal grading scale:

F: No new friends of any gender. Hate roommate and suitemates.

D: No new friends of any gender. Can tolerate and don't mind living with roommate and suitemates.

C: New girl friends (2 or more). Get along with roommate and suitemates.

B: New girl and guy friends (2 or more of each gender). Friends with roommate and get along with suitemates.

A: New girl and guy friends (4 or more of each gender). Friends with roommate and suitemates.

I think that's reasonable and attainable. Wish me luck!

The American Student's Playlist

I was in the iTunes store moments ago when I noticed an advertisement for Demi Lovato's playlist. I'll admit: even though I'm in college, I'm a huge Demi Lovato fan. As I browsed through her playlist, though, I have to confess I felt slightly worthless. It made me feel unimportant because I know for one thing iTunes would never ask me to construct a ten-song playlist for them, because no one knows who I am. For another thing, even if I were to somehow put my own ten-song playlist on iTunes, no one would care about my opinion on the songs. I'm a nobody, just a completely average college student. Then I remembered that I had this handy blog. Even though barely anyone reads it (if anyone at all), I'm going to post my own ten-song playlist here. I highly doubt my opinion will cause any sales increases for any particular artists, but I want my opinion to be heard. So here we go, my ten favorite songs and reasons for it:

(note: this only includes songs I actually own, not songs I like and don't own)

(note again: this is in alphabetical order because that's how my iTunes favorites playlist is organized)

1. Have You Ever: American Juniors -- I never get tired of this song. The lyrics are so emotional and the musical complements the emotion of the song so well. I love it.

2. October: Eric Whitacre -- I like band music like this. A lot. I played this song in high school, and when we played it the director told us how you can hear the leaves being blown across an open field under a gray sky. It's true. The music creates unbelievable imagery in this song. Some of Whitacre's music is kind of out there, a little too contemporary for my personal tastes, but this song is my all time favorite band song. It's so beautiful I want to cry.

3. Now or Never: High School Musical 3 Soundtrack -- I'm obsessed with high school basketball. That should explain this enough.

4. Slow Dancing in a Burning Room: John Mayer -- Credit goes to Wade Robson for introducing me to this song though So You Think You Can Dance season 4 with Katee and Josh's routine to this song. AMAZING. Again, the emotion as displayed through the lyrics and music is unparalleled. John Mayer has some great music, but this is probably my favorite song of his.

5. Before the Storm: Jonas Brothers feat. Miley Cyrus -- I don't know how you could not love this song. For one thing, it's such a personal look into the lives of two extremely famous teenagers that it makes you feel like you know them. For another thing, it's just a great song. Period. Lines, Vines, and Trying Times is the Jonas Brothers' best album so far in my opinion, and this is the best track on the album.

6. Simple Song: Miley Cyrus -- I love the message of this song. I often feel like we as Americans get so caught up in the go go go of our society, the need to keep moving, keep working, keep progressing, never slowing down, never stopping, just working working working until the day we fall over dead from exhaustion. I, for one, believe it's absolutely imperative that we slow down, disconnect, relax, and breathe. This song speaks to that.

7. Come Home: OneRepublic -- I know I'm beginning to sound redundant, but the emotion in this song is so incredible. The simple accompaniment works so well with this song. Plus, Ryan Tedder is a lyrical genius. I also love the fact that the album name came from a little line in the last song of the album. That's just so creative to me.

8. All Over You: The Spill Canvas -- It usually takes me awhile to really, really love a song. I fell in love with this song the first time I heard it on the radio. I can relate to this song so much it feels like it's my life story.

9. Sí, Te Amo: Taxi Amarillo -- I download the Canción de la Semana every week on iTunes in a futile effort to make myself understand Spanish. I speak Spanish, but I'm not fluent, and my hope is that exposing myself to music in Spanish will help with that. So far I've been pretty unsuccessful, but oh well. However, every now and again iTunes puts out a real gem, and this certainly was one of them. Easily my favorite Canción de la Semana. The melody, the lyrics, (the fact that I understand it), everything about this song is so beautiful and wonderful. Me encanta :)

10. Crazier: Taylor Swift -- If anyone ever does a waltz to this song, I just might die of happiness. This song is so beautiful and full of love that you can't help but smile when you hear it. I know a lot of the SYTYCD choreographers are too purist to do a good waltz to a Taylor Swift song, but I still have hope.

So there you have it, my playlist. Like I said, I don't know if this will turn anyone on to any particular song or artist they might not have listened to in the first place, but it's worth a shot. If you happen to read this and find a new favorite song because of this, a comment would mean the world to me. Or even a little profile view. It's quick, anonymous, and makes me feel good about myself because I know someone has read my blog, and that makes me happy.

Workaholic

Yesterday, a thought occurred to me:

Why is not working frowned upon?

I don't mean unemployment. I don't mean laziness. I mean, why is it that whenever I'm standing around at work because there's nothing to do, I get told to do some totally worthless, unnecessary job? Why is it that when at my volunteer job this week, whenever I finish my task I'm sent out to help in a place that doesn't need me and normally I end up standing around doing nothing in a different place? What's so wrong with being still for a moment?

I've come to the conclusion that people are afflicted with workism (if alcoholism creates alcoholics, then workaholics must have workism. Get it?). We're obsessed with movement, progress, accomplishment. We need to work work work, produce produce produce, only resting for absolutely no more than 8 hours at night. Our entire lives our consumed with work. And I, for one, think that is wrong. I don't believe humans were created to work from the second they were born to the second they die. I believe humanity is supposed to take time to smell the roses. Take time to enjoy the world we live in, the life we've been given. Slow down and notice what's around us and stop being so preoccupied with getting things done.

So I'm taking a one-woman stand against workism. I'm not going to always look for a job to do. That's not to say that I'll ignore the work I have to do. When I have work that needs to be done, I'll do it. But when work is finished, I'm not going to go out of my way to find something else to do. I'm going to enjoy my fleeting youth, I'm going to appreciate the life I've been given. I hope someone will find this post and agree with me, and maybe even join me.

Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

I'm going to start looking bipolar in this blog if I'm not careful. Laughing until I cry in one post, crying from anger in the next.

Reason Why Today Sucked #1:

Mondays are my day to work. I'm supposed to work from 9-3. I get up at 7:15 to do this. Today at 8:15, my boss calls and says she doesn't want me to come in until 10. That means the best I can get is 5 hours. Then, per usual, work slowed down around 2, so I got sent home at 2:15. That means, after taxes, I earned a whopping $27 today. It wouldn't be a big deal if I were working just to have some extra cash. But that's not why I'm working. I'm a college student. I need this money so I can eat next year. Literally. That, and actually afford my education. I can't have my nearly nonexistent hours cut, because I desperately need every cent I can get.

Reason Why Today Sucked #2:

After wandering around the library for an hour, trying to find any book that sounded halfway interesting (I couldn't), there was a train I had to wait for on the way home. I guess in the grand scope of things, that's not really so bad, but it was a bit of an annoyance.

Reason Why Today Sucked #3:

When I got home, I found out that the roommate troubles I've had are going to be compounded for the fifth time. Last year I endured not one, not two, but THREE--yes, count 'em, three--roommates from Hell, which, in my opinion, is three more than anyone should have to deal with and at least two more than anyone should expect to deal with. So there's roommate trouble one, two, and three. Roommate trouble four came when the girl I was planning to live with next year dropped out of my college. But housing told me they found someone to put me with, and it would all be good. Roommate trouble five came today when housing told me that since my ex-almost-roommate just told them today that she won't be returning next fall, the original student they were going to put me with has been housed somewhere else.

*explodes*

I just don't understand why our housing department seems to hate me when I did nothing to them. I'm sick of being punished for things I have no control over, and I'm sick of living with people who I hate and who hate me. Is it really so much to ask for a decent person to live with that I can get along with and maybe even be friends with?

Laugh Until the Tears Fall Down Your Face

myparentsjoinedfacebook.com

I haven't laughed so hard in a really, really long time. Not necessarily because I lead some insanely depressing, horrible life or anything like that. The website is just that funny. Thank you, facebook gods, for keeping my parents and all adult relatives off facebook and in the real world where they belong. I don't want them in my cyberworld, thank you very much.

But seriously. Go to that website, because it will make your day. Maybe your week. Or your month. Or your year. Or your life, quite possibly.

Summer, Sweet Summer

It's just one of those perfect summer days today. I really don't think it could possibly be nicer. The sun is shining, the humidity is low, the temperature isn't too hot or too cold...I can't ask for much more than this.

It's a great day to be alive

I know the sun's still shinin' when I close my eyes

There's some hard times in the neighborhood,

but why can't every day be just this good?

I wish I could take credit for that, but I can't. Props to you Travis Tritt, or the writer of that song, for putting a day like today in words.

I think I'm a jaded college student. I wish for the innocence of freshmen. Even though I know it would inevitably lead to disappointment, I can't help but wish I could go back to school wide-eyed and full of wonder like they all will.

I just really hope this year is better than last year.

Anonymous profile viewer, I don't know who you are, but I want you to know that you've made my day. I absolutely love the fact that someone has viewed my profile, because that means someone has been to my blog, which means someone might have read it. That was what I wanted in the first place: for someone to come across this totally by accident and just read my musings. Now if you'd like to comment...*hint hint*

It's Been Too Long

Wow. I think someone has actually found my blog. At least I know I haven't viewed my profile 12 times, which means someone else has. So hello, anonymous reader. Nice to meet you. Thanks for validating my existence in the blogging world.

I think it's interesting how people presume they know everything. As I look at incoming freshmen, I can't help but shake my head. I know I was the exact same: I thought I knew it all. I honestly couldn't have been more wrong. There's so much more...all right, here I go, breaking my own rule. But it's necessary. Anyway, there's so much more to college than people, especially incoming freshmen, realize.

I guess you could think I'm jaded. The allure of college has worn off. It's not all butterflies and daisies and roses.

This is what incoming freshmen think college is:

Strolling around the quad through golden leaves, a slightly heavy backpack on your back, surrounded by your 38283938 new best friends that you met on Facebook. You go back to your dorm room where you hang out with your roommate--you went in blind, but you're going to be each other's maid of honor after graduation, you just know it! Classes happen, but there's so much more to college that you don't even really think about it too much. You party on the weekend because that's what college kids do. Cafeteria food is actually really good and good for you. All those horror stories that current college kids told you: bull. College is actually heaven on earth. They just did something wrong, you're sure of that. Nothing could ever be better than college.

This is what current college students know college is:

Powerwalking through the quad because it's 3 degrees outside and there's a 40 mph wind from the north pelting snow in your face. Your backpack may be heavy, but you're too numb to know. You arrive back at the cinderblock building you call home and find out your roommate from hell is still in bed, because (s)he takes two classes, and (s)he doesn't ever get up before noon, never mind the fact that you got up at 6:50 to make it to your 7:00 Organic Chemistry lab, because you're still pre-med, even though half of the other people who came into college pre-med have since changed their major to physical education. You go to the cafeteria and try to pick through the undercooked, over greasy, over fatted but still tasteless food to attempt to find something that might contain a vitamin or two. Then you go back to your room and get all of your books because your roommate is STILL asleep. You haul all of your things across the entire campus in the same 3 degree weather, get to the library, fire up your laptop, and out of habit get on Facebook, the only place where you actually have friends. You end up spending three hours on Facebook and get no homework done, which means you'll be up until 2 AM again finishing that orgo homework. And then you'll start all over again tomorrow.

I just wish I could scream at every single incoming college freshman: COLLEGE IS NOT PERFECT! ANYTHING WRONG WITH YOUR LIFE IN HIGH SCHOOL IS NOT GOING TO FIX ITSELF BECAUSE YOU MOVE AWAY FROM HOME.

College Class of 2013:

It's not your parents.

It's not your friends at home.

It's not your high school.

It's not your hometown.

It's not your boyfriend.

IT'S YOU.

YOU are the one responsible for your dissatisfaction in life. You're going to learn this the hard way when you run away to college and find that you're still just as unhappy as you were beforehand, except now you're homesick and overwhelmed and scared about the future even more than you were senior year, too. So until you figure out whatever it is about yourself that's making you miserable, you're not going to be any happier at college than you were at home.

NYC Prep

Still no one has found my blog. Not that I'm surprised, especially since I haven't updated in a long time. It would be pretty cool if someone could find it, though. If you happen to read this, just leave a comment letting me know. Or you could just view my profile. Either one. 

I'm too excited for the premiere of NYC Prep. It's not for another few weeks, but it looks so interesting. I know that it's certainly slanted to make certain people look a certain way, but I still think it looks interesting. What's even more interesting is the buzz on the internet about the show. I love how just about anyone in the know regarding NYC private schools says the private schools these kids go to (Dwight, Birch Wathen Lenox, Nightingale-Bamford, and Ross, which isn't even freaking in NYC) aren't THE private schools in NYC, but yet the show makes it look like these kids think their the shit. I think Sebastian actually does think that. What I don't understand is how he spends so much time in NYC when he goes to school in the Hamptons. That seems like quite the commute. Obviously no one rips on Stuy, though, because I don't think anyone would try to claim that Stuy isn't all it's cracked up to be, because everyone who knows anything about NYC schools knows that Stuy actually is for real. 

Dissatisfied

I feel like that's the name of the game for humanity. Dissatisfaction. 

I want more money.

I want a boyfriend.

I want a new boyfriend.

I want my boyfriend to be more (whatever).

I want to get out of this town. 

I want to be finished with this school.

I want new friends.

I want better friends.

I want more friends.

I want, I want, I want. All we see is what we don't have. And even when we do see what we have, we're not happy with it. Why can't we just accept the life we have? There's nothing wrong with striving to be all you can be or wanting the best for yourself. That's not what I'm trying to say. But what about in the mean time? Why can't you try to stop complaining, stop blaming your unhappiness on outside forces, and accept the fact that you are creating your own unhappiness? If you could just accept the life and the things and the surroundings you have, stop trying to change everything because you're so convinced that this town/school/boyfriend/family is hurting me instead of helping me, your life could be so much happier.

Satisfaction, people. Give it a try.

Kris Allen <3

Kris Allen is amazing. 

Adam Lambert had no business being on Idol in the first place, since he's already been famous. He was friggin Fiyero in Wicked. Dude did not need American Idol and won't sell because he's so polarizing. 

That is all.

Day Off

Sadness. No one has discovered my blog yet. I'm not surprised, but I really hope someone finds it. I can't tell people about it, because I want it to be completely anonymous. 

Older D was a bitch at work yesterday. Apparently she's always like that. I hope she's not around frequently. My job is not that great as it is. I don't want to put up with bitchy people after standing for six hours with no break. Also, because I suck so bad at my job, I have to come in on Thursday so I can get more experience. I'm not looking forward to it because I hurt so much when work is over. But at least I'll get paid, which is good. As is, I'm not going to be able to eat next school year if I don't make more money. Damn recession. 

A and S amuse me. They're going to be sorely disappointed, just like I was. Although I can see them getting involved with things that keep people from being so disappointed. They're not as cool as they think they are, and they're never going to get the perfection they're expecting. 

A New Beginning

I have no intention of ever telling anyone about this blog. I'm interested in seeing if anyone happens to stumble upon it, and, if they do stumble upon it, if anything will happen. 

Who I am is not important. Where I'm a student and what kind of student I am is not important. I don't plan on ever revealing that sort of information. 

And in case you, whoever you are, happen to think you are oh-so clever and attempt to figure out my location by post time, I'll tell you right now you're wasting your time. I set my time zone to GMT, even though I do not live in GMT.

The only things you need to know about me:

- I am female.

- I am a student.

This blog will be open and honest and candid. No full names will ever be used, though, to protect 1) the innocent and 2) me. 

I discovered a new person today, C. I sincerely hope to meet C within the next few months. C has a girlfriend, but I'm hoping that will change. I remain optimistic.